I hate hate hate hate this conversation, but it is an inevitable question with every expecting mother. I do not hate it because they ask. It because it just tells me how ingrained it is in our society that the “Baby might not fit.” Not all, but particularly doctors tend to tell expecting families this.
“We need to do a pelvic exam to make sure you have adequate room in your pelvis.”
NO! Oh wait, maybe I should try that again…. NO! What this exam is is called “pelvimetry”. They measure with their fingers (so very accurate *eyeroll*) to make sure you have good dimensions for giving birth. My biggest pet- peeve with this is that labor changes EVERYTHING. The hormones of labor help your pelvis to move and make room for baby.
The hormones of labor help your pelvis to move and make room for baby.
Pelvimetry is an old art that I am sure someone had perfected at some point, but we have grown from that point and I don’t feel like it is a necessary part of midwifery at this time. Maybe I am wrong, but I haven’t performed it as a midwife and have had amazing success with births.
The next one I have heard is- “The ultrasound said my baby was too big so they recommended a cesarean section.”
It is either c-section or an automatic induction in case the baby gets any bigger. *Insert frustrated sigh* Let me be clear. Ultrasounds earlier are more accurate. The further along you get, the more they are INACCURATE in regards to due dates and size of baby. By the time baby is due, the ultrasound can be off on baby’s weight by up to TWO pounds in either direction. With that being said, I know that I am not able to make a for sure guess of baby’s weight, but I would bet my assumption on how big baby is is about as accurate as an ultrasound around the due date. Also, it must be said that I do believe that ultrasounds are a great tool to have WHEN they are needed to check on baby. I personally needed quite a few with a troublesome pregnancy.
Now let’s talk about the cases where it seems like there is a “too big” baby that does not fit. I personally have found that those baby’s that are “too big” are actually just in a wonky position and have needed extra position changes and most of all have needed patience by the provider and mother.
I personally have found that those baby’s that are “too big” are actually just in a wonky position and have needed extra position changes and most of all have needed patience by the provider and mother.
So the main question is- “Will my baby fit?”
If you have been in the position where a previous provider said one of these to you, I would request your records and take a closer look at what position baby was in. Work on getting baby into a better position this time. Milescircuit and Spinning Babies are by far my favorite websites to send to expecting mothers. The only way to truly find out, is to try again. To try all of the exercises, stretches, provider visits and whatever else to see if getting baby into that better position helps the process of birth.
In MOST cases, what I have seen is that working on getting baby into a good anterior position prior to birth really can make a world of difference. If baby is properly tucked, baby just works more in harmony with your body. With that being said though, the baby will and has to come out no matter whether there is a hand, cord, arm, or wonky position. Just know, you are not alone and many women have been told these things by their providers. A lot of mothers have asked this question themselves especially after a harder birth previously. But body and baby were made to do this work together, you can do it too. If you take care of yourself, your body will make the perfect size baby for your body!
“…your body will make the perfect size baby for your body!”
**Keep in mind that this does not include those who have had injuries to their pelvis before or other abnormalities/ pregnancy conditions that would cause a difficult birth.**